Day 01 : Something you hate about yourself.

Well, this one is hard. I really don’t hate anything about myself. Although there are things I would change.

First, I would change my singing voice to something wrapped in honey and silk rather than sandpaper and grit.

Maybe I should have listed frivolous complaints first? I’m not sure.

Let’s see…what else.

Well, I wish I had more focus, or that I was quicker to get up and do things that need to be done or that I truly want to do. It seems too often that I have to argue with myself to just ‘get up and do it’ whatever the ‘it’ is. I’m like my own little nag, arguing and cajoling myself to “just do it”…wait I think that’s a slogan for some company….

This may seem silly to the rest of you, but this is how it is for me. I love to scuba dive. I hate everything leading up to it. The packing of gear, the planning, the making of the lunchbox, the putting on of the wet suit, and getting into the water. Stupid really. Silly really. And it’s even worse because other than dress myself, my wonderful, caring, walk-on-water husband takes care of most all of that stuff for me. Now he doesn’t stuff me inside my wetsuit, or put my gear together, but he does pack it, clean it, and generally manages the whole process. He even drags my butt out of bed, half comatose from lack of sleep, and plops me in the dive van. So I really have no reason to complain. And yet I do. It’s a struggle each and every time. I would love to say that I look forward to diving, but I don’t. I love diving. I really do. Love. Love. Love it! But look forward to it? No. Have the energy or the drive to go if the hubby weren’t herding me in that direction? No. Just no. So I guess that’s something I hate about myself.

I should look forward to it more. I should be excited. I should be proactive. But I’m not.

And it’s not just diving. It’s any number of different things. Like, I know that if I get up off my butt, go put on my workout gear and run on the seawall, I will feel fabulous for the rest of the day. I know this is my emotional anti-depressant (physical activity is the best mood enhancer out there). And yet, I’ll sit there for 30-minutes, an hour, two even before I drag my sorry bee-hind out the door and into the sun, or rain, or heat, and “just do it.” Isnt’ that crazy? When I know that I will feel ten-times, a hundred-times better…I still fight the sloth monster each and every time.

I hate that my writing is always in edit mode. I have some awesome stories I’ve written. They need some polish, but geez! when does the editing stop. I’m not interested in traditional publishing because I don’t have the patience to play the game. That’s my sloth speaking. I’ll publish someday, but I’m in no hurry and with the move towards self-publishing that’s where I see myself going.

I think that’s enough. Despite all that, it’s more of a nuisance than anything else. I really don’t ‘hate’ anything about myself. I’m pretty content.

 

What about you? Care to join me in the 30-Days of Truth Challenge? Answer the question in the comments…it’ll be fun!

2 comments on “Day 01 : Something you hate about yourself.

  1. Melissa says:

    Ok so I am starting behind…today March 18th will be my day to catch up to your day nine….what di i hate about myself…I guess it would have to be that I hate felling like I always have to please someone or others before I please myself. Some day i will learn to control that but as of right now…I hate that about me….

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