So I was wandering around the blogosphere when I came across “30 Days of Truth” just being undertaken by a fellow blogger. The idea is to make a blog post each day for 30 days, using the prompts provided:
Day 03 : Something you have to forgive yourself for.
This one is surprisingly easy. I need to forgive myself for yelling at my children.
I’ve tried, countless times, to school my anger, shelve my disappointment, to sweep away my irritation, to vent my frustration quietly and alone, to…well…to desire perfection in my creations.
The thing is…I expect perfection. I expect them to strive, to work, to hunger for success…but they are children and unfinished, unpolished, impure, imperfect, and wonderful in all their glory….and…and it frustrates me each and every day.
I need to forgive myself my own failings. To forgive my desires and wants for perfection. To accept that my children are just as flawed as myself.
Each and every day, what I wish for is that they see/feel/understand my unconditional love. Yet, I fail each and every day. I yell at them about homework. About chores. About responsibility. About forgiveness. About treating others as they would wish to be treated themselves.
All they hear is the yelling. They don’t hear the message.
I must forgive myself my failings in teaching them these important lessons and hope that some part of them hears the love behind the yelling, the disappointment, the anger, all of that.
I don’t think I’m the only parent that feels this way. It’s my job not to be a friend to them, but to be a role model…sometimes that means we are at the opposite spectrum of friends. If I never expect their perfection…then who will? Who will push them to be the best they can be?
I only hope they understand this message…someday….they are teenagers after all……………..
What about you? Care to join me in the 30-Days of Truth Challenge? Answer the question in the comments…it’ll be fun!