Day 03 : Something you have to forgive yourself for.

So I was wandering around the blogosphere when I came across “30 Days of Truth” just being undertaken by a fellow blogger. The idea is to make a blog post each day for 30 days, using the prompts provided:

Day 03 : Something you have to forgive yourself for.

This one is surprisingly easy. I need to forgive myself for yelling at my children.

I’ve tried, countless times, to school my anger, shelve my disappointment, to sweep away my irritation, to vent my frustration quietly and alone, to…well…to desire perfection in my creations.

The thing is…I expect perfection. I expect them to strive, to work, to hunger for success…but they are children and unfinished, unpolished, impure, imperfect, and wonderful in all their glory….and…and it frustrates me each and every day.

I need to forgive myself my own failings. To forgive my desires and wants for perfection. To accept that my children are just as flawed as myself.

Each and every day, what I wish for is that they see/feel/understand my unconditional love. Yet, I fail each and every day. I yell at them about homework. About chores. About responsibility. About forgiveness. About treating others as they would wish to be treated themselves.

All they hear is the yelling. They don’t hear the message.

I must forgive myself my failings in teaching them these important lessons and hope that some part of them hears the love behind the yelling, the disappointment, the anger, all of that.

I don’t think I’m the only parent that feels this way. It’s my job not to be a friend to them, but to be a role model…sometimes that means we are at the opposite spectrum of friends. If I never expect their perfection…then who will? Who will push them to be the best they can be?

I only hope they understand this message…someday….they are teenagers after all……………..

 

What about you? Care to join me in the 30-Days of Truth Challenge? Answer the question in the comments…it’ll be fun!

2 comments on “Day 03 : Something you have to forgive yourself for.

  1. Minnie says:

    Something you have to forgive yourself for…

    I have to forgive myself for not having better balance over my life. I love my girls, yet I often feel I work too much and have missed out on being more readily available to them. I do want the best for them, but I am not sure that being a workaholic is the message I want them to take away. Family time should always come first, but in my life that has always been such a challenge.

    I have to forgive myself for not being a better sister. I have two sisters and one brother. Our lives are so different. I go out of my way for mom, but can’t say I have made the same effort for my siblings. I think I’ve just felt that I could not take on their troubles and tribulations on top of my own. Maybe I have been a bit selfish, it is not lack of love, I think I have helped whenever they truly needed me…but, has that been enough?

  2. Melissa says:

    I have to forgive myself for all the time I missed playing with my kids when they were younger because I was so concerned about a clean house.I spent way to many hours cleaning when I could have been spending that time palying with my kids…and now that they are older I feel like I missed so much when they were younger because of my OCD about cleaning took over my life when I was a young mother.

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