So I was wandering around the blogosphere when I came across “30 Days of Truth” just being undertaken by a fellow blogger. The idea is to make a blog post each day for 30 days, using the prompts provided:
Day 26 : Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Oh, certainly, during those teenage angsts years, but it was more for drama than anything else and I lacked the willpower, conviction, strength to do it. I’ve had those around me commit suicide and I think it’s the worst tragedy around. I feel a deep sorrow that they couldn’t find some reason to stick around. Feeling down and blue, angry, apathetic is a normal process, a normal emotion, you just have to figure out a reason to stick around. Either you find hope in something big or small, or find love dragging you back, whether in a person or a pet, or you find anger motivating you to just stick around and prove others wrong, there always has to be a reason to stay here sloshing around with the rest of us.
I had two friends in high school commit suicide, one friend when I was in my early twenties attempt suicide (and then spent a very memorable Thanksgiving getting him checked into a hospital), and just recently a coworker commit suicide. Each of those was a tragedy.
Ultimately, I’m pissed off at all of them. Suicide is no way out. In fact it’s the cowards way out. For one of them children were left behind. There’s never any excuse, none, zip, nada, for leaving children behind. I don’t understand the motivations around the depression that drove him to do what he did, but you don’t write a suicide note to your children telling them how much you love them, and then kill yourself. That’s the most selfish act imaginable. Imagine the guilt they have to grow up with, knowing they weren’t enough of a reason for daddy to stick around, that they couldn’t be loved enough for him to want to stay with them.
So, yes, I’ve ‘thought’ about it, but not really. They were just fleeting glimpses of an anguished youth. I don’t understand what draws people to make that final fateful decision. I think they are cowards in the end.
What about you? Care to join me in the 30-Days of Truth Challenge? Answer the question in the comments…it’ll be fun!